Untitled: A Troy and Kelsi Story
by laneyh
Summary: I sat here with the razor to my wrist. Thoughts clouded my mind, as I cut through my skin. As the blood ran from my vein, those thoughts left me. I straighten up and walked my self to the sink, to wash the pain away. TroyXKelsi, rated 'T' for later chpts
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note**: This is my first fanfic, so please R&R. Constructive criticism is always welcome. I don't own HSM, RENT, or anything else motioned. But a girl can dream, can't she? Now to the story…

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I sat here with the razor to my wrist. Thoughts clouded my mind, as I cut through my skin. As the blood ran from my vein, those thoughts left me. I straighten up and walked my self to the sink, to wash the pain away. I looked up at my self.

'_What am I doing? I'm the captain of the basketball team with a championship under my belt. Troy why are you doing this?' _I thought as I hid my secret from the perfect life everyone thinks I live, and cleaned my self up. But this was the only method that I could use to mange my anger and depression. My shaggy hair fell in my face, as I got up from hiding it.

"Troy! Breakfast!" My mother called. It was around 7 o'clock and dad left at 7:15. So I needed to get steppin'. I slipped on some dark wash jeans, a pair of Nike's, a red tee shirt, and my white East High zip up hoodie. Running out of my room, I took two steps at a time so I wouldn't make dad late.

"Morning Play Maker!" Dad greeted me.

"Hey dad! What's for breakfast?" I asked plopping down around the table. I had to make sure when I ate or did anything for that matter I didn't let my scars show.

"Pancakes, with bacon, hun" Mom said placing the plate in front of me. My mouth drooled a bit. I glanced over at the clock it was 7:05, so I had to eat quick. I started to grub down on the food, it was flippin' awesome. A couple minutes later I was walking out to the car with duffle bag and a backpack in tow. I hopped in the car, a bit before my dad, so I could get my Ipod on something that fit my mood for the day. I had to go through half of the 456 songs before I found **anything** that was even close. I finally decided on '**Holy Water'** by Big and Rich. I let the first chorus pour through my headphones.

''_Somewhere there's a stolen halo  
I used to watch her wear it well.  
Everything would shine wherever she would go  
But lookin' at her now you'd never tell.  
Someone ran away with her innocence;  
A memory she can't get out of her head.  
And I can only imagin what she's feelin when she's pray'n  
Knealing at the edge of her bed."_

"Son, you ok?" My dad asked. I nodded; I must have been starring into space again. "Ok, I was just making sure." He said. The short drive to school was uneventful really. He parked the car into the faculty parking lot at East High. I got out, so that I could find my friends. It was a sanctuary being around them.

"Is there practice during free period?" I asked before I bolted far from my dad, and he gave me a nod. I waved to him as I walked into the school. As I walked into the building I got high-fives and random people yelling for me. I nodded to them but I wasn't focused on them until I got to my group of friends.

"Hey, 'sup everyone?" I did a gangster pose after that, just so I could get a laugh out of everyone. Of course it got a chuckle out of everyone.

"I can't believe it; we're doing **'RENT'**." I heard Sharpay exclaim, I looked at her.

"**Rent**?" I was so confused, _'What the hell is __**Rent?' **_I thought. Sharpay didn't answer, but she continued to talk about it. Chad was sitting down with the other Wildcats, so me being me sat down beside him. I could sense that something was up.

"Chad dude, 'sup?" I asked the curly haired boy. I surveyed his body quickly before he could notice.

"Nothing really just waitin 'for homeroom, I guess." Chad didn't really know what to say. He was slightly out of it, with Taylor being gone for 2 weeks. Chad was bummed.

"Dude its ok. Tay's gonna be back soon." Zeke said, while getting cookies out for Sharpay and himself. "Hey you can love on her as much as you want when she's back." Zeke joked, but well Gabi didn't think it was funny so she slapped Zeke in the back of the head. "Ouch." He said. I got up so I could check on Kelsi, her and her boyfriend of three years, Jackson broke up recently. Kelsi's been has taking it hard. So she hasn't been the best shape.

"You guys, I'm gonna go check on Kelsi alright?" I told the group, as headed to the practice rooms.

"Alright playmaker." Jason said, as he was trying to balance a ball on his fingers. I gave a small laugh to him, and then headed off. When I got into the west hallway, I looked around, after knowing the coast was clear, I pulled up my sleeve. I had to check on my scars, because my older ones were getting irritated and puffy. '_What is going on with them?'_ I glanced down back at my wrist, and then looked back up. _'I'm gonna check on them later, they'll be fine.'_ I thought as I approached the practice room. I placed my ear to the door, and I heard this depressing ballad coming from Kelsi.

'_Without you, the ground thaws  
the rain falls  
the grass grows _

Without you, the seeds root  
the flowers bloom  
the children play

The stars gleam  
the poets dream  
the eagles fly  
without you

The Earth turns  
the sun burns  
but I die, without you..' 

She pressed hard against the last key hard. Then I heard muffled cry. So I thought it was time to open the door.

"Kelsi?" I asked as I poked my head through the door. She looked at me. Yet Kelsi quickly wiped away her tears.

"Hey Troy." She said, trying to wipe away her tears before I noticed anything.

"You ok?" Hell I didn't know what else to say. I popped open the door with my right foot and squeezed through the door. I've been in this room before with her so we could practice for last year's musical. I was about 10 steps into the room before Kelsi looked the other way so I couldn't notice the tear stains on her cheeks.

"…No." I knew her answer before she told me. Yet her crying got harder, and I ran to her. I didn't know what to do. I got behind her and wrapped my arms around her crying small form. I spoke into her ear.

"Shhh. Kelsi, he was a jerk. There's someone for-"The bell cut me off. I didn't really know how to say this to her, hell I shouldn't be scared of telling a girl that I'll talk to them later. "Umm…I'll talk to you at lunch?" Kesli nodded. Then I ran out of the room so I could get homeroom in time, so I didn't get a detention with Darbus. I took off across the school; my homeroom was in the east wing, so I had to rush. I glanced up at the clock before I past it, '_Shit, 7:53 I need to get going.' _I thought as I raced off, I ran into Darbus's room before she got there.

"Hey playmaker!" Chad said motioned for a high-five. "Where have you been, the monster of theater was gonna bust your chops." The bell rang, so I sat down in my seat and continued to talk to Chad.

"Welcome back, class! I hope all of you had a great break." Darbus announced. There was a groan from everyone including myself. "I'm sure all of you have heard about this year's winter music-cal is Jonathan Larson's hit, "**RENT"**

People 'ohh' and 'awed', but I didn't know what to think. For the rest of homeroom, Darbus went on about the story and roles.

'_Come on, I want Darbus's rant to stop!'_ I thought, and well it did. The bell rang, so I hopped up outta my seat and headed to my other classes until lunch. God they were boring! Chemistry was blah, all the teacher did was review. And English 3, all we did was discuss the importance of reading in everyday life.

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**A/N: **The song that Sharpay and Ryan sing is 'Without You' from Rent. Please comment and leave ideas! Thanks! 


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

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I ran out of English. It was lunch time, and for lunch was pork chop. I did get to talk to Kelsi too. I went through the lunch line with everyone trying to talk to me. All I did was smile, they didn't know my secret. I glanced around the cafeteria looking for everyone, and I found them. I walked up to my table. Ryan was with Martha, Gabi was with Jason, and Chad was lonely.

'_I wonder where Kelsi is. This is making me worry.." _I saw her out of the corner of my eye. I let out a sigh of relieve. I waved for her. I yelled for her.

"Kesli!" She looked over and with her head down Kesli head to our table.

"Hi, you guys." Kelsi said with a weak voice. I could tell she was crying during her other two classes with morning. I looked up at her and smiled. She sat down to my left. Everyone was making small talk, so I decided to talk to Kelsi about what was wrong.

"You ok? We can talk after school or something." I said trying to make her a bit happier. All of a sudden I saw this smile creep across her face. Right then I knew this was gonna be a good day.

"I guess. I could be better." Kelsi said still looking down at her tray of food. She started to play with the potatoes with her spoon. "I'm still crushed inside." She said it with such a hushed voice I just about didn't hear her. I placed my hand on her back, but Kelsi pulled forward. "I'm sorry, Troy."

"It's ok. I can understand" I told her, trying to place my hand back on her back. I rubbed her back in circles. I flashed Kelsi a smile. She looked down again.

"_I can't believe how bad she was hurt. That dude was a prick to treat Kelsi like that." _That occurred to me while I was eating. I looked at her, she was crying again. But it was barely audible

"Come on, Kels." Gabriella said, helping Kelsi out of her seat at the round table. Kelsi nodded and got up with Gabi to lord knows where.

"You guys I'm going go shoot some free-throws, ok?" I told the table as I got up. I of course wasn't heading to the gym, but to bathroom. I grabbed my bag and threw it on. "Later." I said heading to the gym bathrooms. Walking to the bathrooms, I dig my razor out of my pocket; I caressed it in my palm. I casually walked into the bathroom I checked if anyone was in here: Nope not a soul.

'_I'm getting so bad, I to do it at school.' _I cut through my vein for the second time today. But everything, all my worries and fears left. That's what made me, Troy the basketball boy. No worries or fears. I rinsed my wrist under the sink quickly so no one saw anything.

'_God I feel so better. Now I can actually deal with all this random shit.' _I left the bathroom and started to head to 3rd block: Pre-Calculus. Yet I ran into Chad in the hallway, he seemed to be in a better mood.

"Captain!" Chad gave me a mini-salute. I laughed at him.

"You seem in a better mood." I told him.

"I am, you see Tay is getting back tonight." Chad just about busted with joy. He did a strange little dance thing. I don't think I ever seen him that happy.

"Awesome dude!" I pat him on his back. "Remember practice during free period!" I jogged off Pre-Calculus. This was one of the last classes before free period, which is just practice anyway. In Pre-Calc. I was bored; it was the teacher ranting on how we should have done better on our finals and all that happy stuff.

'_You could have taught us better, or something, jezz.'_ I sat and thought. Various things and thoughts clouded my mind. My mood went happy to extremely depressed, in about an hour. No I'm not bipolar, its just stress anything. The bell rang for the 5th time today. So I headed out for my last class of the day, American History.

'_I get to see Kelsi this class don't I?'_ I thought to myself before I headed four classrooms down for history. As I entered the room people were sitting on desks and talking. I sat down in my regular seat, next to Chad and Jason.

"What's up, playmaker?" Jason asked me, while I was getting out my homework for class.

"Just worrying about someone..." I said. I didn't really want my team to know I was worrying about a girl or something. Jason gave me a weird look, but just let me be. After that little event, we had a good 5 minutes or some more the teacher showed up. I leaned forward to talk to Kelsi.

"Girl, you feel any better?" I asked her. She nodded no. "Are you going to even talk? It doesn't hurt to, you know." I got the feeling that she either wanted to slap me or talk.

"Troy, can I come over?" Kelsi asked in a soft voice. I smiled and nodded, I think all she need was someone to talk to. The class went on, nothing else eventful happened in class. The bell rang for the 6th and final time for the day. I headed off to the gym so I could get to practice. I entered the gym, and then as soon as I entered the gym, I was passed a ball.

"Playmaker, suit up!" My dad shouted, so I hustled to the locker rooms. I slipped on my white and red wristbands. Then I started to suit up into my black mesh Nike shorts, Nike Shox's, with a white wifebeater. I ran into the gym with everyone else.

"Let's start with passing drills!" My dad shouted out, "Start with chest then go to bounce pass." I paired with Chad like I always do. We started with our drills.

"Chad, are you excited to see Tay?" I asked him sending off a bounce pass to him. All he did was gave me a big grin.

"You seem to like Kelsi, huh?" Chad asked bluntly. He sent the chest pass back to me. I didn't know what to say to that.

"Dude, she just got out of a bad relationship. I'm just trying to be her friend." I said, sending another bounce pass to him.

"Right..." He said, we continued passes until we started to drill plays. Practice went on with shooting drills, lay-ups, and running. Until my dad blew the whistle.

"Great practice everyone; I'll see you guys later! What team?" My dad said to us.

"Wildcats!" The team said

"What team?"

"Wildcats get cha' head in the game!" Then we headed to the locker room I changed out of the practice clothes into my bag, and then I changed and made sure that no one saw my wrist. Then after I got back into my clothes and headed outside to find Kelsi, so she could just come home with me and my dad after school. I went to theater and she was there playing a tango song for Ryan and Sharpay.

'_**I'm so mad  
That I don't know what to do  
Fighting with microphones  
Freezing down to my bones  
And to top it all off**__  
__**I'm with you**_

Feel like going insane?  
Got a fire in your brain?  
And you're thinking of drinking gasoline?

_**As a matter of fact --**_

Honey, I know this act  
It's called the 'Tango Maureen'  
The Tango Maureen  
It's a dark, dizzy merry-go-round  
As she keeps you dangling...' 

I walked into the theater; I heard Ryan and Sharpay singing that tango song. They sounded good. I waited until the song was over, before I yelled for Kelsi. Walking into the isle, I yelled for her.

"Kesli!" I yelled for her, it wasn't my regular yell. It was more pleasant then my regular yell. She looked up, and fell. I made her fall during mid-step. I ran up to the stage so I could help her up. "God, I'm so sorry, Kelsi." I ran up the stair in front of the stage. I offered her my hand. "Like help?" Kelsi took my hand. And a slight red entered her cheeks.

"Thanks." She mumbled as she got up. Kelsi seemed so embarrassed to fall. For a moment I forgot why I even came down here.

"Oh yeah, do you just want to come home with after school? It'll be easier instead of your parents driving to your house then to mine. My dad can take us home." Wow I was ranting. Kelsi gave me a smile that I haven't seen in a while.

"Sure," She giggled, "Let me call my parents to make sure its ok."

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**Author's Note: **The Italic Bold is Sharpay singing, and the italic is Ryan singing. This song is 'Tango Maureen' from Rent. Thanks for reading! 


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

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A smile over came me also. I don't think I've seen Kelsi this happy for at least 4 months or so. She flipped out her phone, because we were dismissed by then. It was 3 o'clock. Kelsi talked on the phone for a minute or so, and then she pocketed her cell.

"My mom said its ok." Kelsi said to me. She picked her packet of music off the piano, and placed it all within her black backpack. Kelsi swung the bag on her back. I was just starring at her for a minute or two. Thank god she didn't notice.

"Kelsi just follow me to the car." I said walking out of the theater, I was very happy. We started walking to my dad's office by the gym. It started to get silent, so I tried to make small talk. "So is the school ready for '**Rent'**?"

"Some people are, some aren't. Ryan and Shar are indifferent about this. Because its not pop music, it's more of a rock opera." Kelsi was opening up to me, even if it's just about the musical. I smiled to myself. I lead her out of the theater, down a flight of stairs, then to the parking lot that my dad parks at. I flipped open my phone and pressed speed dial two. It rang twice before anyone picked up.

"Hey dad, is ok if Kelsi comes home with us today?" I asked with a bit of hope in my voice.

"Is she the one that composed last year's musical?" Dad asked.

"Yeah. She is." My dad gave a chuckle, as did I.

"That's fine. She can ride with us home, alright Troy."

I agreed with him. I might actually have a heart to heart talk with Kelsi. I continued to lead her to our Explorer; I tried to open the door.

"It's locked." I simply said. Kelsi sat beside the SUV. I pulled my Ipod out of my pocket. "Music? I hope its ok." She nodded, I flipped off my hold button, then flipped it to a song that she might like "**You and Me" **by Lifehouse. I gave her the right headphone I had the left one. Then the guitars of the beginning of the song flooded my ear.

"_What day is it _  
_And in what month _  
_This clock never seemed so alive _  
_I can't keep up and I can't back down  
__I've been losing so much time _

_Cause it's you and me and all of the people _  
_With nothing to do, nothing to lose _  
_And it's you and me and all of the people and _  
_I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you _

_All of the things that I want to say _  
_Just aren't coming out right _  
_I'm tripping on words, you got my head spinning _  
_I don't know where to go from here…''_

Kelsi's body rocked in rhythm with the song. Suddenly thoughts of me and her together ran through my mind, like a movie. I smiled, but of course my moment was ruined by my dad.

"Hey playmaker lets go." He unlocked the car. Everyone tossed their bags into the trunk. I slid into seat behind my dad's seat. Kelsi slid in on the right side. There was a space between us. The drive to my house was different. It was all quite and weird for a ride home. I finally got home. I opened the door as soon as the car hit the driveway. I grabbed Kelsi's hand, to pull her out on my side.

'_I have so many questions I want to ask her. My biggest question is why Jackson broke up with her. I know its not my business but I want to know.' _

I must have zoned off, because Kelsi was waving her hand in front of my face.

"Earth to Troy." She said while waving her hand in my face. Kelsi had a worried look on her face. I gave her a slight grin.

"Sorry… Do you want to go in?" I offered her. I bet she wanted to know why I grabbed her hand so suddenly, but I wouldn't know to tell her. Kelsi nodded and grabbed her bag from the trunk. I waited for her at the front door. I opened the door for her. "This is my house." I showed her my house, or at least the first level of it. I think Kelsi was a bit overwhelmed. "My bed room is upstairs, if you want to talk up there." I offered to her.

"Sure…" Kelsi said with a bit of uneasiness in her voice.

So I started to head for my bedroom. I was mid-way up the stairs, and noticed she wasn't coming. "Kelsi up here." I told her.

"Oh sorry." Kelsi started the up the stairs.

"Its cool, you don't have to say sorry all the time." I said to her before I continued up the stairs. I walked up my stairs at a casual pace, when me and Kelsi got upstairs I turned to her. "Kelsi I'll be right back, I have to go the bathroom, my bedroom is right there." I motioned to the door in front of me. "Just go on in, it might smell like stinky boy though." I made my way to my bathroom to look at my scars. All of them on my left wrist were all puffy and irritated.

'_This isn't good.' _I compared my two wrists and there was a visible difference between the scars on the left and on the right. '_I have to keep my hoodie on until Kelsi leaves, so she doesn't notice anything.' _I walked back into my room like nothing was wrong. When I entered my room, I noticed Kelsi looking at all the trophies and metals around my room with all my East High colors. So I jumped on my bed.

"God! Troy, I didn't notice you!" Kelsi was rather surprised with my random jumping.

"Sorry about that." I put my hand behind my head, and ruffled my own hair. "I surpised ya didn't I?" I sat down on my bed. "Kelsi so are you seriously ok? Cause I know Jackson did some stuff to you…" I didn't have to finish, Kelsi already starting crying her little heart out. "I'm so sorry Kelsi. I didn't mean to make you cry." I tried to calm her down with rubbing circles on her back and that didn't work. "Shhhh.." I tried wrapping my arms around her. Oh god was that a mistake.

"TROY?!" Kelsi exclaimed, "What – are - you- trying - to - do?" She got out between sobs.

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**A/N: **Sorry for the cliffhanger! R&R please! 


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

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"Nothing I swear!" And that was the god's truth too.

'_This Jackson boy really screwed her up. Kelsi should know I wouldn't hurt her._'

Kelsi looked at me with fear in her eyes. I think I needed to tell her that. Or make her feel that I won't hurt her.

"Kelsi," I looked right into her eyes, "I will never hurt you. I just want to talk to you." I removed my arms from around her. "Let's talk, ok?" I nodded to her, hoping she would agree with me and thank god she did. "Did Jackson physically hurt you Kelsi?" Lord I didn't want ask that morbid question, but I did.

'_I just dived in didn't I?' _I mentally slapped my self. _'Stupid Troy! That's not a question she'd answer yet, god.' _

Kelsi's eyes grew the size of plates and her sobs were getting harder.

"Troy—if-I told- you,- you woul-dn't -tell, would -you?" Kelsi now had her hands over her face trying to muffle her cries.

"Kelsi, I wouldn't betray you, ok?" My eyes continued to stay on her. I couldn't stand to watch anyone crying in front of me. "Shhh…" I tried to clam her, of course it wasn't working. Tears gushed out of her eyes before she tried to tell me.

"He did." That's all Kelsi said. At this point I had the feeling to beat the shit out of Jackson.

"I'm so sorry, Kelsi." I offered a shoulder to cry on. And she did, Kelsi placed her head on my shoulder. I couldn't stand to see her cry. I put an arm around her small form.

'_Bolton get a hold of yourself, she's just a girl. __**But a she's nice girl**__..." _I had to have mental battle with myself now?!

"Any better?" I asked her. I didn't know how to word it any other way. Kelsi looked up to me and nodded. "I'm glad, I'm sorry that jerk hurt you." She wiped her tears away. I started to rub her back to relax her. She relaxed a bit while my arm was behind her. I got up off of my bed, and walked over to my oak shelf. I grabbed a box of tissues so Kelsi could blow her nose after crying. "Here." I offered her the box, and she gently grabbed them. Kelsi blew her nose a couple of times. "Trash can is over there." I pointed over the upper right corner of my room.

"Thank you." She got up off of my bed and threw away her used tissues.

"Kelsi?" I asked her. She looked up at me.

"Yes?"

"Do you want to like go out sometime? Like Saturday night?" I swear I didn't have control over my mouth right then. Kelsi had the deer in the headlights look.

'_Damnit, Troy! She just got out of a bad relationship. Can't you hold your tongue-'_

Kelsi interrupted mid thought, "Troy, your nice and sweet. But I just don't know." I could tell she was extremely unsure of her answer.

"Hey you don't have to tell me until Friday, ok?" I reassured her. She nodded her head, then suddenly my cell rang. I checked the caller ID, Chad Danforth. "I'll be right back, ok." I didn't wait for her answer, I went out to the hall.

"Dude, sup?" I answered.

"Nothing much, did you finally talk to Kelsi?" Chad asked me.

"Yeah, she's here now. So can I go?" I sounded a bit bitter when I do him that.

"Ok, later."

"Later." I hung up, and then placed my cell back within my pocket. I went back into my room and I saw Kelsi pulled out her sheet music. "It seems you can't put that down can you?" I joked with her. She looked up at me, like she wanted me to go over to where she was.

"Troy…are you going to try out?" Kelsi asked me bluntly. I grinned.

"Yeah, it **might** be fun. Who else is trying out?" I asked her. In all honestly I haven't even thought about trying out for this musical.

"I know Ryan, Sharpay, Gabi, and Chad are. But there's a lot more people that haven't signed up." Kelsi looked down at her sheet, and I looked down with her. The page that was open was the song '**Seasons of Love'**. "This is the try out piece because it has the whole company in it." She told me, like she's trying to get me to sign up.

"I don't know, Kelsi. This looks a lot harder the '**Twinkle Town'." **I said with uneasiness in my voice. I saw her sigh, god I didn't want to disappoint her but another musical?

"It's alright Troy; I mean I don't want to guilt you to doing it." Kelsi said while stuffing the music back into her black bag.

I was speechless. Now I have do it, even though I might not even get a part. I should try out for her.

"Kelsi you want something to eat or drink?" I was getting uncomfortable so this was the only way I could get out of my room.

"Juice if you have it, please." Kelsi said leaning back against my bed. I could tell she was a bit uncomfortable being in my room.

"Ok, I'll be right back." I got up, and opened my door completely. "Make yourself at home, remember." I looked back and told her. Kelsi smiled, then I started to head down stairs. I got downstairs, both my parents were at the table talking about something. So I had to interrupt them. "Mom do we got juice?"

"Yeah it's in the crisper drawer. Why?" Mom asked me. I think she forgot Kelsi was here.

"Kelsi wanted some juice." I simply said to her. I walked through the living room to get to the kitchen. I made my way to the double door fridge. I bent down so I could Kelsi's juice out of the crisper drawer. I got myself a purple Gatorade. I headed back to my room, I was half way up my steps, until I forgot I had my razor in my pocket.

'_Shit. What am I going to do with it? I have company.' _

I just continued upstairs like nothing was wrong. I walked into my room and tossed Kelsi her juice.

"Kelsi! Heads up!" I said as I tossed it to her. She looked around and caught it right before it hit her in the face. "Awesome catch!" I sat down next to her. After she caught it Kelsi seemed to be staring off into space like I do. "Kelsi?"

"Huh?" She said shaking her head to get herself out of it.

"You spaced out." I told her.

"Sorry about that." A tint of red entered her cheeks. I guess Kelsi didn't realize she zoned out. Kelsi glanced down at her watch. "I need to get home soon Troy. I need to practice some more for the musical." She said.

"Ok, let me tell my mom or dad-"

"My parents can pick me up. Don't worry about it." After that she pulled her cell out of her back pocket and pressed speed dial 9. I left the room so she could talk to her parents in peace. But in the middle of her conversation with her parents she put her hand over the speaker.

"Troy you can come back in. I mean it's your room." Kelsi said with a slight giggle.

'_She giggled in front of me!' _

So I went back into my room. I laid on my bed and I shot a plush basketball over again until she got done with the call. I stop shooting the ball and it fell on my chest.

"My parents are going to be here in five minutes, Troy" Kelsi said getting up off the floor. She looked over at me, with a smirk and a laugh. With grabbing the plush basketball, Kelsi tossed it in my face.

"Hey now!" The ball hit me square in the nose. "That's not cool." So I tossed it back at her, the ball hit her square in the back. "HA!" I got up from my place on my bed, and I went to pick up the plush ball. But sadly Kelsi got to the ball before I did.

"What now!" Kelsi said jokingly. My mom was at my doorframe watching this unfold in front of her eyes. Right before Kelsi hit me for the second time my mom spoke up.

"Kelsi your parents are outside waiting for you." She told Kelsi right before she headed downstairs.

"Troy you heard your mom, I have to go. I'll see you tomorrow, ok?" Kelsi grabbed her black bag from the floor. And she hurried down stairs so her parents didn't have to wait on her any longer then they had to.

"Ok...bye." But, Kelsi left before I said goodbye to. I had other things to worry about.

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**Author's Note: **Chapter 5 is very emo-y. And thanks for reading, remember to R&R. 


	5. Internal Battles

Chapter 5: Internal Battles

I went into the bathroom that was connected to my room, and slumped down against the wall. I pulled my friend out of my pocket. I caressed the razor within my palm. I slit into my right scared wrist. I slit into my wrist again and again, until all the feelings of the day left me.

_Drip_

_Drip _

_Drip_

My blood fell on the tile flooring of my bathroom. I slowly got up and cleaned my wrist. I let my wrist sit under the lukewarm water. This time it was deeper then any other time. But I need it. It just was going to be harder to cover this scar up. I walked silently to my room. I lay back on my bed, the same way I did was Kelsi was here. A million thoughts entered my head as soon as I hit my mattress.

'_Why did you ask Kelsi out? She's been hurt.__You know all she needs is a friend.  
__**But you've like her for a while. This is your chance, Troy.  
**__She needs you _as _a friend nothing else!  
__**Kelsi is a nice girl. You know she makes your heart race.  
**__Troy you can have any girl in the school, why her?'_

I pushed my hair out of my face. I didn't know what to do. I place my palm on my face and covered my eyes. My eyes slowly closed, and then they popped right back open. Again thousands of thoughts entered my head.

'_**Get close to her, know what she likes.  
**__No, let her be. Just be her friend.  
__**You want to be more then her friend, Troy and you know that.  
**__I can't though; she's been way too hurt.' _

"DAMNIT!" I threw my pillow against the wall. I was so frustrated with myself. I glanced over at the digital clock I had on my bed stand. It read '6:15'. I rolled out of my bed and looked for my I-pod in my backpack. I placed it with in my I-Home. I went through three fourths of all my music to look for something. The song was from a musical, so it was a guilty pleasure music. Lyrics poured out of the two small speakers…

'_There's a moment you know…you're fucked –  
Not an inch more room to self-destruct  
No more move – oh yeah, the dead-end zone  
Man, you just can't call your soul your own _

But the thing that makes you really jump  
Is that the weirdest shit is still to come  
You can ask yourself: "Hey, what have I done?"  
You're just a fly – the little guys, they kill for fun' 

The song continued, as I undressed into my boxers. I threw my dirty clothes into my overflowing dirty clothes hamper. I cranked up my music, because this CD related to what I was feeling. After that I entered the shower. I turned the water to warm to lukewarm and I let the water completely soak me. I stood under the shower head for a good five minutes before I tried to wash anything. I grabbed the AXE: Phoenix from the built in shelf of my shower. Slowly the soap came out of the bottle, after that long drawn process, I washed myself. The soap stung my previous scars.

"Ouch!" I exclaimed, I quickly rinsed off my body. "This isn't supposed to happen." I spoke no one in particular. After I rinsed, I put Matix: Mega Volume in my hair. I scrubbed the shampoo into my scalp. I slowly and gently washed the all of the shampoo out. Again I stood under the shower head. After the soaking, I felt around for the towel on the rack beside the shower. Wrapping the towel around my waist, I stepped out of the steaming shower. I gazed at myself in the foggy mirror. My speakers were blasting a Broadway musical, and I totally forgot until the music continued…

"…_I believe  
I believe  
I believe  
Oh I believe  
There is love in heaven _

I believe  
I believe  
I believe  
Oh I believe  
All will be forgiven

I believe  
I believe  
I believe  
Oh I believe  
There is love in heaven  
All will be forgiven  
There is love in heaven  
All will be forgiven…" 

A long sigh escaped my lips. I opened the cabinet and grabbed my comb to untangle my shaggy hair. Then I replaced the comb with a tooth brush. I finished my routine, silently. I walked into my bedroom with the towel still around my waist. Reaching into my set of drawer I grabbed a pair of plaid boxers. The towel around my waist fell as I got on the boxers. The music filled the room instead of my muttering. I bent down and in one swift motion I grabbed and tossed the towel in my dirty clothes hamper. After that, I searched my drawer for a pair of sleep pants. I slipped a pair of AC/DC pants on. Then I went to my chair. Again for the third and final time, thoughts entered my head about Kelsi.

'_Troy quit thinking about her.  
__**I can't! She's beautiful, nice, and sweet.  
**__You can't have her!  
__**Yes I can!'**_


End file.
